Sep172009
Sorority Row
Posted by elliott under Uncategorized
Don’t hang out with bitches. In Sorority Row, that could get you killed—but not after a little disreputable fun. It’s another remake of a bargain-bin slasher that probably shouldn’t have been remade, and the word “exploitation” is practically tattooed to the buxom heroines’ chests. But the movie nabbed me from the start and knocked the wind out of me laughing. It’s a retread, I’m sure, but it isn’t torture porn, and its satiric kick keeps punting the movie forward without blustering it off-course into self-conscious meta-nightmare. Sorority Row has probably gotten press mostly for being the major-motion-picture début of Audrina Patridge, an “actress” from MTV’s The Hills; indicative of the movie’s status as exuberant trash entertainment (as opposed to whorish trash mimicry), she’s the first bitch to be killed off.
Why did I go see Sorority Row? On The Late Late Show a few weeks back, Craig Ferguson introduced his guest, Carrie Fisher, with a clip of her brandishing a shotgun in a Greek-letter-house kitchen, jeering at an unseen assailant, “Don’t think I’m afraid of you. I run a house with 50 crazy bitches!” Fisher, who, in 1975, played one of the screen’s best slutty teenagers in Shampoo, is, alas, not given the kind of camp-classic, aging-queen role that might have really electrified the movie and maybe even resuscitated her career—Carrie Fisher as Faye Dunaway as Joan Crawford. The producers of Sorority Row were probably more interested in keeping the cameras ogling the young meat—on both the prissy vixens and their preppy bucks—but they sacrificed some wicked-witchy fun that I’m certain the writers (Josh Stolberg and Pete Goldfinger) and director (Stewart Hendler) would have loved to provide. They clearly weren’t interested in providing an acting showcase for inchoate talents, but as the bimbo-in-chief, the 21-year-old Leah Pipes acts wonderfully jaded; her character is so good at keeping her head that we’re all the more excited to see it lobbed off.
This story of girls whose covered-up secret comes back to haunt them in the form of deadly, “pimped-out” tire irons is indefensible as anything more than a guilty pleasure—though most professional reviewers think even less of it than that. The contrived ending doesn’t bother me here; is it any less plausible than the plot of Vertigo? (Besides, who’s to know this couldn’t happen in a sorority house on the night after graduation? I don’t remember my last night of college…) In truth, the murders—save for one, which comes too early on (and seems derivative of a gag from Snoop Dogg’s Hood of Horror)—aren’t staged as cleverly as they could have been; the jokes, with a few exceptions, are funny but forgettable; and the party scenes are as inauthentic to collegiate life as ever—they could be outtakes from Asher Roth’s “I Love College” video. Background details are noticeably lacking. I couldn’t tell which coast they went to school on, or even whether it was in a big city or small town, and only the girl in glasses seems to have had a major. But what really counts here is that the people who made this had nothing to lose—except audience interest—and that they kept because the fun of vivifying this kind of trash must be infectious. Their edge is that they really had it out for the rich-bitch culture that The Hills represents, that MTV doublespeak that feigns an ironic distance from subjects who are nonetheless vindicated for being tinsel idols of consumer culture. Television viewers laugh—and then, feeling inadequate, shop. In Sorority Row, viewers laugh—and, avenged for being made to feel inadequate, watch the spoiled scions get chopped. This in-utero Sex and the City setting is devoid of virgins, so they’re not the ones spared, as they were in Halloween. This time we get a survivor on scholarship.
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Pingback from Cold Souls » Movie Monster
October 8th, 2009 at 11:22 am[…] One friend said he could not reconcile the movie’s indie realism with its fantasy elements, but I don’t think there are any other ways to treat the material without betraying what it essentially is—a simple moral fable. If it were plopped down in, say, a Minority Report setting, the concept of soul-swapping would lose its obliqueness; the study of souls is such a queasy “science” that it’s better off left to the realm of complete fiction. The writer-director, Sophie Barthes, knows we can’t buy soul trafficking as a current trade, as popularized by a piece in the New Yorker; by placing this in the world of the familiar, she’s given us the distance we need to appreciate her metaphor. Her method is an index to her good humor, not her seriousness. (Similar concepts turn up as pseudoscience in The Lost Symbol, Dan Brown’s new page-turner, and I’m taken aback laughing each time they come up; these kind of conceits only work as pulp or poetry, and Dan Brown is no poet.) Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind was a similar case; it can be summed up as “It’s better to have loved and lost…” But Charlie Kaufman has more of a Philip K. Dick temperament than Barthes; he’s dyspeptic, all right, but when he waxes poetic, it’s with a tricky tachycardia. Jumpy directors like Spike Jonze and Michel Gondry match his pulse. In Synecdoche, New York, however, writer-director Kaufman was victimized by his own volubility, and his ideas went kaboom. That’s the opposite of Barthes’s problem here. Her message echoes the sound, but tired, wisdom of everybody’s doting mother: “Just be yourself.” Cold Souls is a sweet, sincere little labor of love, but like most morality tales, it’s frail—a dream that fades when you rub your eyes, advice you shrug off before watching Sorority Row. […]
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Pingback from Ninja Assassin » Movie Monster
December 10th, 2009 at 11:26 pm[…] at the blockheaded movie’s expense that you almost feel guilty watching this guilty pleasure. (In Sorority Row, you feel in on the joke; here, the movie is the butt.) McTeigue’s naïveté worked for V for […]
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Pingback from Daybreakers » Movie Monster
January 21st, 2010 at 11:46 am[…] like Twilight; indie gadflies like Shadow of the Vampire or Cold Souls; ghoulish giggle-fests like Sorority Row or From Dusk Till Dawn; and Rob Zombie’s psychopathic orgies. Ethan Hawke is not a big enough […]