Newsmaker

On the day that OPEC, the Mideast oligopoly of

oil producers, announced that it will cut oil

production to keep prices artificially high I

decided it was a perfect day for a road trip.

Four of us have piled into a purple hand painted

mini van and are heading to Pennsylvania. The

purpose? We got invited by the Steelworkers’

Union to help staff rallies for Barack Obama

featuring the NFL’s Pittsburgh Steelers.

Clearly, it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity.

We head off as the election has been blown as

wide open as the stock market. With the

inevitable recession looming over this nation’s

historically racist parts this country has

decided to close their eyes and pull the lever

for a black man, whose middle name is Hussein. As

The Atlantic reported earlier this month,

door-to-door canvassers in Pennsylvania at one

house asked a man who he was voting for; without

blinking he responded, “I am voting for the nigger”…wow…America!

With the numbers and reality turning against

them, the GOP media has gotten silly. Michelle

Bachmann, congresswomen from crazy town

Minnesota, in a circular interview with Chris

Matthews said that she was worried that Obama was

anti-American and that we should do a serious

investigation into who in Congress hates

America…I’ll save her the time and trouble…it’s

the Democrats. The National Review’s Christopher

Buckley not only endorsed Obama but did so

because he claims to no longer know what

Conservatism stands for. Then he resigned from

the publication his father, the conservative ideological juggernaut, started.

Even Karl Rove has been forced to admit that

statistically Obama should win. The National

Review and the Weekly Standard have suddenly

become statistics journals, investigating and

exploring any possible issue with the unfriendly

polling numbers. Day after day articles can be

found about the way this poll is garbage or how

this poll’s sample size is out of whack. They

claim the polls are over-sampling Democrats. As

fivethirtyeight.com points out this is because

there are currently more registered Democrats

than Republicans and therefore it is almost

impossible to not sample more Democrats.

Tina Fey has completely highjacked Palin’s public

persona. We no longer talk about Sarah Palin we

talk about Tina Fey’s Palin. This week the only

talk of the real Sarah was that the RNC spent

$150K to clothe her and her family. While normally

not a big deal that sum is pretty much equal to

the average cost of a home in the US, and

remember we are losing our homes in record

numbers? -1 one for relating to voters. It’s all

part of the side show this election has become.

We ran out of substantive debate a long time ago.

Now we just have the political equivalent of the squirrel jet skiing.*

But me and my fearless journeymen are going into

the belly of the beast. We will unlock the truth

behind the claims that racists are voting for the

black guy. More importantly we will figure out

who convinced the Steelers to drive around

Pennsylvania with a bunch of college kids in a purple van.

*See Daily Show for Clarification