Props & Drops: March 6th Edition
I came up with this idea all of one minute ago, but here goes: Props & Drops rewards various Cornell-related agents with either Props (you go, girlfriend!) or Drops (ich don’t think so…) based on a complex calculation of parameters (fame, ridiculousness, sexiness) that looks something like this:
fame equation
PROPS: to the Daily Sun’s Jenna B. and Julie Block, for writing a cleavtastic piece that “plunges into the implications of our boob fixation.” After seeing a girl whose “chest was ostensibly on its milky way to exposing a bit of her caramel-colored niblets,” the fearless femme fatales show some cleavage themselves in order to gauge the reactions. They also explore the Western world’s obsession with boobage as well as its social and political “showings.” Classic, gals–I’m a big fan.
DROPS: This week’s “The Bias Cut” with Martin Ambrose. A couple preliminary notes: first, we don’t get your column’s name and we never will; second, looking like a transgender MTF is not fashionable; lastly, we think the Sun’s copyeditor hates your column so much they won’t touch it. I have to admit—this week’s column is not terribly bad content-wise. Martina discusses swimsuits in preparation for Spring Break, recommending decent brands no one has ever heard of (Ralph Lauren, J. Crew, etc.) and providing the unheard-of advice not to wear Speedos like “your sixty something year old dad who passes out by the pool with the New York Times in hand.” What really annoys me about his column isn’t its insufferable banality but its awful lack of a copyeditor… some “gems” follow:
“Let’s start with the men out there. You’re job isn’t so bad.”
“And no, a speedo isn’t a bathing suit unless you’re an athlete whose sport requires it, European and over forty, or you’re name is Arnold and you’re a politician in California.”
No, no, no! I think this is an apropos time for a “And you go to Cornell?”
Might we add that we heart the lascivious Jenna B. (Bromberg). Jenna has received a lot of flack from various sources for her sex column, but she seduced us with her seemingly bottomless pit of imaginative sex terms. (In the words of one fan, “She had me at ‘wrinklebeast.’ “) Students resent that she goes there with flair and confidence, calling her a “big slut with an over-inflated ego” and hating on her “ugly” sorority. She was even derided on IvyGate as “icky” for various reasons, among them admitting that the condom got lost in “the murky depths of [her] vag” the first time she had sex. We can understand that not everyone takes to devilishly raunchy turns of phrase (taming the one-eyed trouser snake, anyone?) or cuttingly honest treatment of squeamish subject matter (having sex while you’re menstruating), but do what everyone else does when they see something they’re not into–turn the page!
It has become almost a cliche to hate on Jenna B., and we’re tired of it. It says something when you’re so “disgusted” by someone that you go to lengths to bring it up and when it’s up, you go to lengths to make sure your fully disgusted opinion is heard, loud and clear. The girl is clearly not for everybody–namely Christians who are “saving themselves,” pansexuals, or your parents–but give her a break!
Tags: IvyGate, Jenna B, Props & Drops, The Bias Cut
March 11th, 2008 at 3:38 am
You could use a copy editor yourself:
This week’s “The Bias Cut” with Martin Ambrose. A couple [of] preliminary notes: first, we don’t get your column’s name and we never will; second, looking like a transgender MTF is not fashionable; lastly (sic), we think the Sun’s copyeditor hates your column so much they (sic) won’t touch it.
March 12th, 2008 at 11:02 am
The edits you cite are mostly judgment call errors. You’re right that “couple of” is technically more correct than just “couple.” But the usage has become so pervasive, particularly in speech, that the correction amounts to nothing more than nitpicking. See http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/13/magazine/13wwln-safire-t.html for a discussion of “coupla.”
The “lastly” is wrong for reasons of parallelism, you’re right.
And the “they” is something I stand by. Yes, grammatically, it’s a “he” or “she” but I don’t feel like guessing the gender of the Sun’s copyeditor. I think the they is a nice (if incorrect) stand-in for not making judgments about gender.
At least my errors aren’t on the level of grammar school writers…
March 18th, 2008 at 11:59 am
I won’t lie. Ouch. But I applaud your use of free speech and appropriate
grammar. The spirit of do/don’t guidance is not unlike many of my own
articles, and I won’t be accused of dishing it without being able to take it!
And thank you for the reminder that spell check does not fix all; I promise
the correct usage of “your” vs. “you’re” in future articles.
I’d now like to take a moment to thank my fans out there, however few they
may or may not be, because their encouragement outweighs the zing of this
“ouch”. As for your thoughts, I do appreciate your enthusiasm for my work
despite the negative nature of your opinions.
I almost think you should, like, not have to be anonymous! Though I don’t
see a friendship in the cards, I’d welcome a chat to further discuss our
journalistic endeavors over coffee. It just seems so impersonal for one of
us to share our ideas while hidden behind a computer screen and veil of
anonymity when Spring is in the air! So call me if you’re interested in
meeting face to face - Spring is coming, we could even meet outside
somewhere!
Take care. Wear deodorant. Try Zoloft!
March 18th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
The “bias-cut” is a technique used by designers for cutting clothing to utilize the greater stretch in the bias or diagonal direction of the fabric, thereby causing it to accentuate body lines and curves and drape softly. For example, a full-skirted dress cut on the bias will hang more gracefully or a narrow dress will cling to the figure. Bias-cut garments were an important feature of the designs of Madeleine Vionnet in 1920s and 1930s and bias-cut styles are revived periodically. In the Middle Ages, before the development of knitting, hose were cut on the bias in order to make them fit better. The old spelling was byesse.
March 19th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
I’m not really anonymous, we’re just in the process of updating the design to show who I actually am…. My name is above in one of the comments and right here.
Maybe you could spot me some Zolos at our little coffee chitchat extravaganza? You could also bring your latest column, and I could go over it with red pen!
No hard feelings, by the way, it’s all in good journalistic fun… We need more feuds here at Cornell, it shows that people actually care about what’s being written on campus.
March 21st, 2008 at 6:05 am
First, it’s doubtful that “The Bias Cut” constitutes a “journalistic endeavor.” Agreed, I think most Cornellians are well-versed in the latest offerings from J. Crew given the company’s bi-weekly mass catalog mailings.
At best, Mr. Ambrose’s column celebrates the diversity Cornell is known for. Calling all MTF trannies (a quick visual scan of Statler Hall would reveal more than one for sure)! You too can write mindless garbage for The Sun on a regular basis!
March 23rd, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Whoa…tone down the incitement here….
Style guide in hand… I venture to guess, if one were to conduct a grammar audit of The Sun, Martin Ambrose would emerge a misdemeanor offender at best.
Admittedly, his column doesn’t compel readers to question the origins of the universe. Is it intended to do so? I’m thinking more along the lines of bitchy entertainment at the expense of Cornell’s fashion victims. Yes, these mismatched fools are definitely behind our steady drop in the U.S. News and World Report rankings. Please, Hermes (or even one of the LVMH divisions)! Send Mr. Ambrose some free samples! Hopefully, Martin will receive them with the intent to distrbute (well, the picked through remainders anyway).
It’s very easy to pick on an openly gay student. Martina? MTF tranny? Cheap homophobia, not exactly “good journalistic fun.” Martin, keep doing your thing. Be sure to update D. Evan Mulhill’s look over coffee. What’s with the whole first initial, middle name thing anyway?
March 26th, 2008 at 8:33 am
No, he’s definitely committing felonies up there. Those errors are grammar school violations.
I’m not picking on an openly gay student for his homosexuality. I’m openly gay myself. I’m picking on the fact that he is a man who dresses like a woman, and that in my opinion and probably in the opinion of many in the sartorial world, that is not a good look.
March 27th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
D. Evan has a point. I agree. Irrespective of sexual orientation, men are better off sticking to traditional male attire of a size and cut appropriate to body shape and proportions.
If Mr. Ambrose seems to be raiding the female extra-small selections at Abercrombie, and pairing it with some sort of questionable man-purse, it’s probably your RESPONSIBILITY to draw attention to the matter.
September 9th, 2008 at 6:07 pm
[…] We say slutbaggery with (sl)utmost respect, because, in case it wasn’t painfully apparent, we kind of love her. This fall, she’s Jenna Bromberg (Hotel ‘08), works at a webmag/blog called […]