The Week in Kitsch: Like a Butterfly Unfurling Its Wings, We Have Come into Our Own
Hey kitschfolk (schfolk?): Today we present to you our newest feature: The Week in Kitsch. In which we volley ill-informed judgments upon Cornell-related happenings that occurred within the last 7 days!
Exhibit A: Kitsch finally is a dictionary.com Word of the Day
Validation, yeah! We’ve been waiting a long time for this, except we didn’t really think “kitsch” was esoteric enough to merit Word of the Day status, but lo and behold, dictionary.com LOWERED ITS STANDARDS. And now we feel our name is terribly becoming and perhaps even inspired to start this new feature. Bad taste, check. Pretentious, moi?
Exhibit B: Gorge Rocks Spontaneously Arrange Selves into Shaky 9/11 Memorial
Speaking of bad taste, has any unwitting Thurston Ave. Bridge walker been as confuzzled as me as to the point of the 9/11 rock memorial down in the gorge? It says “I <3 NY” next to a obvious — if wobbly, har har har — representation of the Twin Towers.* Um, why? I can understand the sentiment, but this is a place for cringe-inducingly crude jokes (“JUMP NOW, SAVE 160K” comes to mind), not vaguely patriotic symbolism mishmashed unsettlingly with tourist sloganeering. It is the equivalent of this 9/11 knock-knock joke, but with rocks. And unfunniness.
EXHIBIT C: Lone Gay at Cornell Renounces Gayness.jpg)
Finally, campus is safe for heteros: Sun columnist and “power gay” John-David Brown has declared that he is still “here” but “no longer queer.” Hey girl hey! Thanks for coming back into the closet with us, J-D, we’ve missed you. P.S. Will you do the John-David show for Kitschkablogs? Pretty please? It’d be the opposite of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, I think.
So the folks over at UglyFugly.com have decided that our logo is the 15th most sucky college logo in America. The bear is said to be “hugging a giant ‘C’ from a school named after a pack of chewing gum. Run for the hills, fuzzy wuzzy might hug you to death! Seriously.” Srsly? But he is growling in a most ferocious ursine manner! With his paw wrapped possessively around the oversized letter, no less! I think fuzzy wuzzy might actually be protecting its beautiful “C” from bastards that would try to TAKE ADVANTANGE OF HER AND TARNISH HER GOOD HONOR. Like those fuckers from Harvard**.
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*Picture will be up tomorrow, sorry schfolks.
**I was going to try to make a joke to the extent of Harvard guys saying “I before E, except after C” wherein C stood for Cornell and E and I for vaguely sexual things but I’m not funny enough. Somebody figure it out please.
