Dear Aunt Edna: Cornell Legends Unclothed
Aunt Edna is not amused.
Would you happen to know who paints the footprints on the Arts Quad between the statues of A.D. White and Ezra Cornell? My friend told me that when he toured the campus before freshman year the tour guide says that legend has it that the two statues come alive at midnight and meet in the middle of the Quad to shake hands after a virgin has passed through. But if the legend involves them meeting in the middle of the Arts Quad, then shouldn’t there be a trail of white footprints leading one way and a trail of red footprints leading the other way? It doesn’t make any sense that their footprints suddenly turn red. Care to explain?
Confused Cornellian
Dear Confused,
One thing to bear in mind when you are a student here in Cornell is that there is an awful lot of mystery in this school. In an institution producing many of our future leaders of the sciences, the liberal arts, and indeed, maybe even politics, there is a plenitude of things that do not make sense and are not supposed to unless you are in the “in” crowd.
As you can see, Aunt Edna is not because of some reason beyond her understanding, so she is not able to fully answer your question. If I had to venture a guess, however, I would say that the legend your friend heard may not even be based off of some tradition but rather is one of the many dubious tricks the university uses to sucker kids into coming here. Clearly the guide who led your friend around campus and told him this story is the last link in a chain of lies and deception, marketing a sense of history and tradition by fabricating legends not created by our Cornellian forefathers but rather by the money-grubbing, elitist pigs involved in keeping up the secrecy and “tradition” by leaving out members of the Cornell community, regardless of how influential they may be!
Rest assured, no statues are actually able to come to life… and as there are very few virgins here, especially in the College of Arts and Sciences, the legend your friend told you is a big steaming pile of hooey!
Best,
AE
