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Wildly Unconfirmed Gossip Wednesdays: Skorton Is Going to Drop Da Bomb

I totally didn't quit flute in the 7th grade because it was too homosexual. Maybe this will become a weekly feature. Maybe not? In any case, we have some juicy stuff that you won’t find on the likes of CollegeACB. Here’s one tipster’s gossip:

Yo Evan,

Some wild hearsay: Skorton and some other big higher-ups at Cornell scheduled a meeting with the chief Sun editors for yesterday afternoon relating to a big press release.  Apparently the shit is going to hit the fan at the end of this week, maybe tomorrow or Friday.  BUT at the last minute, Skorton canceled the meeting.  Speculations have been running wild.  Big budget cuts? He’s announcing his new concert series of jazzy flute-saxophone duets with Bill Clinton? Alien invasion of Goldwin Smith? Only time will tell.


I’ve also heard whispers of student activists who have talked about taking over Willard Straight. There was some meeting yesterday, relating to cuts in diversity funding (closing of LGBT center). There’s a bank in the Straight though, so a takeover might involve threatening federal property.  Back to AAP: the person in charge of diversity got moved to another college.  One diversity student says that this will cause diversity to plummet, says that this man was the only reason he came to AAP.  The associate dean (i think?) is now supposed to be the diversity liason, but the students are planning to flood him with diversity concerns over the next few weeks to prove that his support won’t be adequate.

Also, now that I’m dishing gratuitous amounts of gossip: some frat put little orange study pills in their official budget but backed out when they were too pricey. Ha!

Whispers from a little bird in the Sun newsroom: poster reading “Bitch Magazine” basically to the effect that Kitsch sucks, complete with the courier font.  Would’ve been funnier if they spelled it “Bitsch.”

English department in money troubles!  They disgrace the name of Cornell, and are superfluous anyways.

Language and its use thereof is SO superf. My gratitude transfigures itself into besottedness, tipster.

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 25th, 2009 at 11:18 pm by D. Evan Mulvihill and is filed under Ruh Roh!, opinion, wildly unconfirmed wednesdays. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

One Response to “Wildly Unconfirmed Gossip Wednesdays: Skorton Is Going to Drop Da Bomb”

  1. munier salem Says:
    February 27th, 2009 at 12:48 am

    hey guys,

    i designed the “bitsch” poster, and yes, we did use “bitsch” with an s. your mole obviously couldn’t pay attention to details. We used teal spot color, a poorly cleaned piece of student artwork, and gratuitous courier new. it was a spitten image of our fave lit mag.

    CORRECTION APPENDED

    Bitsch mispelled the cornell daily sun’s teasing of their publication. Bitsch regrets this error.