Desperate Freshman. What’s New?
Tuesday, April 12th, 2011
While flyering for Kitsch Burlesque Poetry night (shameless self-promotion), I came across this comedic gem of a poster at Trillium Express amidst all the usual junk for countless acapella groups and speakers that specialize in branches of science that you didn’t even know existed. Apparently this freshman didn’t get enough action over spring break and is desperate enough to tell the world about it. Obviously everyone likes playing mini-golf, but how did he know the best way to get someone’s heart pumping is with a big heaping portion of leafy vegetables that stain everything they touch?
Of course, I had to text the number out of sheer curiosity and boredom, just to see if the person that made this blatantly joking flyer had the balls to put down a real cell number. It was disappointingly a landline. No matter what pleasure I could get out of torturing a freshman for what was probably a pledge gag, I was not willing to call a house number and have to explain to Grandma Suzie why I wanted her to flex her muscles.
