Would you happen to know who paints the footprints on the Arts Quad between the statues of A.D. White and Ezra Cornell? My friend told me that when he toured the campus before freshman year the tour guide says that legend has it that the two statues come alive at midnight and meet in the middle of the Quad to shake hands after a virgin has passed through. But if the legend involves them meeting in the middle of the Arts Quad, then shouldn’t there be a trail of white footprints leading one way and a trail of red footprints leading the other way? It doesn’t make any sense that their footprints suddenly turn red. Care to explain?

                    Confused Cornellian

Dear Confused,

One thing to bear in mind when you are a student here in Cornell is that there is an awful lot of mystery in this school. In an institution producing many of our future leaders of the sciences, the liberal arts, and indeed, maybe even politics, there is a plenitude of things that do not make sense and are not supposed to unless you are in the “in” crowd.

As you can see, Aunt Edna is not because of some reason beyond her understanding, so she is not able to fully answer your question. If I had to venture a guess, however, I would say that the legend your friend heard may not even be based off of some tradition but rather is one of the many dubious tricks the university uses to sucker kids into coming here. Clearly the guide who led your friend around campus and told him this story is the last link in a chain of lies and deception, marketing a sense of history and tradition by fabricating legends not created by our Cornellian forefathers but rather by the money-grubbing, elitist pigs involved in keeping up the secrecy and “tradition” by leaving out members of the Cornell community, regardless of how influential they may be!

Rest assured, no statues are actually able to come to life… and as there are very few virgins here, especially in the College of Arts and Sciences, the legend your friend told you is a big steaming pile of hooey!

Best,

AE

I am a Freshman in the Arts and Sciences school but I am very unclear as to what I would like to major in. I started off as chem but gave it up after about a month (It’s a long story). Basically, I don’t know where to begin to look for a new one. Currently it feels as if I’m choosing my major based on process of elimination and this is far from reassuring. Sometimes I feel like I would like to study business or economics because it’s what my dad did but is this a wrong reason? How can I be sure? Where can I look for help? I tried the Career Center but all I did was sit behind a computer for hours lying about my interests (I don’t know what I’m interested in). I am constantly asked by my friends and relatives what I’m studying and I hate not knowing but feeling like I should! Oh well.

-Undecided

Dear Undecided,

Choosing a major can be quite difficult, especially if you have no interests, as you yourself have said. Luckily, there are many students in your situation, countless freshman who think they are interested in something only to come to college and realize that for one reason or another they are completely lost.

Fortunately, there are many services offered by Cornell to give you more information and to help you choose a major and career. The Career Center (which you have already tried) has counselors devoted to helping students choose a course of study, and if that doesn’t seem to help you decide anything, I would recommend thinking long and hard about your interests.

A good place to start is to think about everything that you have done in your life and evaluate each and every class, activity, or job with which you have ever been involved. Then the next step is to think back to how it made you feel- Was it rewarding? Was it enjoyable? Could you picture yourself waking up every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday at 5 A.M., ready to start a grueling day devoted to this one topic, a day that will often last until 7 in the evening (sometimes later), not to mention taking this work home at night and over the weekends, causing a tremendous strain on your relationship with your significant other (that is, if you have any time to meet him or her)?

But don’t worry. You don’t have to commit to a major for another year and a half (although you really should decide early because major requirements can often be quite difficult to complete in time and you certainly don’t want to end up with a Bachelor’s degree in something completely not suited to you and therefore not useful at all in the real world). Good luck!

-Aunt Edna

I have been here in Cornell for nearly three years now, and I know that my reason for coming here is to get a degree in Econ.  I feel that nothing is of higher priority than my studies, and I do very well academically.  Socially, on the other hand, I seem to be lagging behind.  I’m a junior and I have never been on a date!  Although this didn’t really bother me my freshman and sophomore years, since I was caught up in college and working hard, by this point I really would like to get out a little more and learn to relax and enjoy myself.  For some reason, I have a great deal of difficulty meeting women (I even have difficulty getting them to notice me!).  I’m a really shy guy, and I have a fear of rejection, but by no means is it crippling.  On a campus which probably has about 9,000 females, there must be at least one out there who would be interested in me, right? What advice can you offer on how to improve my situation (and with that, my self esteem)?

–Looking to Date

Dear LTD,

I know it can be difficult to put yourself out there, especially in a school ranked as “The Hottest Ivy.” Nevertheless, I have faith that your situation can improve, although it entirely depends on what sorts of things you like doing. I would say pursue your interests and join organizations relating to things you are passionate about, but given that you study Economics, it might be difficult to find girls who are socially adept as well as attracted to you. Given that you are not 21, you clearly cannot peruse the local bar scene, but there are tons of parties out there where you can more or less interact with a more or less attractive, intelligent, funny, capable female, although these types of females are almost always in relationships or severely damaged and bad at dating. Don’t despair. You have a 1 in 9,000 chance of meeting that special someone. The odds just might be in your favor! Thanks for contacting me!

Take Care,

Aunt Edna

Dear Aunt Edna,

I am a 21 year old male who has been smoking nearly 2 packs a day for four years. I read somewhere that smoking takes an average of 20 years off a person’s life, and I was wondering if that means it takes off more than that from other smokers’ lives, depending on how much they smoke. In a nutshell, if I quit smoking now, should I worry that I could get cancer at, say, age 25? Can people that young get cancer from smoking? I’m currently in the process of quitting. Can you tell me whether or not it’s too late?

Quitter

Dear Quitter,

I can’t say whether or not it’s too late and whether or not you’re doomed for cancer at the age of, say, 25 for a variety of reasons (all more or less related). On the one hand, smoking two packs a day is clearly bad for your health. On the other hand, if you’ve used these smoke breaks to reach a peace of mind, then you most likely have impeccable blood pressure.

If you’re worrying about this, then I bet you’re the type of person who worries about a lot of things and those with type-A personalities tend to outlive their type-B or type-C peers because of a resilient determination to avoid death by any means necessary. It’s more or less rare for people that young to get cancer from smoking, but that entirely depends upon your family medical history, how naturally healthy you were prior to (and during) your nicotine addiction, if you live (and have lived) in a place that is or is not polluted, how often you have been exposed to second-hand smoke (which is arguably more dangerous than actually smoking  [and with that, if your second-hand smoke exposure tended to be while you were smoking or while you were not]), your frame of mind, and a plenitude of other factors. All in all, whether or not you’re going to die, it’s hard to call. Thanks for contacting me!

Aunt Edna