D-Skortz Offers Economy-Fucked Seniors Champagne, Platitudes
Wednesday, April 15th, 2009
Prez D-Skortz on LSD.

Meeting Larry Paciotti: CornellWatch’s Interview with Legendary Porn Director Chi Chi LaRue from Evan Mulvihill on Vimeo.
If you are a gay man who doesn’t know who Larry Paciotti is, that’s forgivable. But if you gay men don’t know Chi Chi LaRue, you might be fooling yourself — she (the drag/gay porn director persona of Larry) has directed hundreds (thousands? is too lazy to do research) of titles you may have used your dominant hand to “enjoy.” Watch on, trannies.
There is life after Cornell, apparently, and sometimes it involves working in New York City and making fun satirical Web sites. At least that’s what worked out for Kitsch’s very own Samantha Henig, who corresponded with me via e-mail about being the co-creator of a Web site called IThoughtObamaWouldGetMeLaid.com. The site satirizes what Henig, along with fellow co-creators Jonah Green (friend) and Jessica Zimmerman (sister), perceived as the unrealistic expectations to which voters held then-president-elect Obama. Check it out: each time you click on the big block text, it refreshes into another hysterically delusional conjecture. Personal favorite: “I thought Obama would nominate a Secretary of Cute Bunnies and Kitties.” A boy can dream, can’t he?
CornellWatch: How did you, Jonah, and Jess come up with the idea?
Jonah and I were gchatting during work, complaining about what a bad time it is in the book/magazine industry and various more superficial complaints (my junk-food-binge-induced achey body, his alcohol-and-salt-induced puffy face), and the idea grew really organically and almost instantly out of that.
CornellWatch: It’s been almost a month since you’ve gotten back from Beijing. What is your favorite memory from the games?
Walking into the Bird’s Nest during the closing ceremonies; there were so many people in the stands, cheering, waving flags, it was amazing! I just kept thinking, “This must be how Michael Phelps feels where ever he goes.” It was just awesome to be there with different types of athletes from other countries and know the people in the stands are there to support you.
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Click through to find out how the banging goes in NYC, who this damned Cowboy is, and whether his linguistics are quite as cunning as he claims.