Archive for the ‘news’ Category

Move Over, Andy Bernard: Cornell Has A New Workplace Stereotype

Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010

And the actress who played her just got nominated for a supporting actress Oscar! That would be Anna Kendrick in Up in the Air — itself nominated for Best Picture — for her superb portrayal of Cornell grad Natalie Keener. In the office, Natalie is everything that Andy Bernard isn’t: professional, upwardly ambitious, and terribly stiff.

Where Andy Bernard reminisces aloud of his Here Comes Treble a cappella superstardom at Cornell, Natalie is the type who’s more likely to remember nights spent tirelessly studying for her upper-level Johnson School classes, which she took on top of her AEM courses just to show her classmates that the Ag School Biz program is not a joke. Read the rest of this entry »

Cornell Business School Techie and His Fellow Staffer Reveal Love Affair to Entire Johnson School

Friday, November 6th, 2009

So this was first reported by Guest of a Guest (where I used to work, oddly enough), and now has hit Gawker. The exchange between the two sexting fiends is hilariously porny, and contains gems such as: “And I will be SO FUCKING HORNY after I get done SPANKING that FINE ASS of yours for hours, you’ll be FULL for a week after you swallow me! And I hear that CUM is an excellent source of protein, as well as other nutrients!!! :)”

Also: “Because more than half the time, I’m actually just fixing for just Jake as Trevor has already eaten half the house by the time I get home. And the minute we come in the door, Jake is heading straight for his highchair and wanting fed before I even have my coat off. So I fix him something quick (grilled cheese, omelet, etc.). Or over the weekend I’m make a big pot of something so we can have leftovers, which Jake and Trevor don’t mind, but I get sick of them within a day or two and resort back to popcorn.I’m bad, I know.I think I need a good spanking.and to be put on my knees and force fed.”

The thing is, I’ve talked to a number of undergrads in various colleges who have NOT received these incriminating e-mails, so Gawker and Guest are wrong to say that the entire campus was cc’ed. I’ve just confirmed, actually, via an old Sunny friend of mine who has a friend in the business school, that only the Johnson School of Management was cc’d on these emails. For reference, 267 students were admitted to the MBA program in 2009 and 272 were admitted in 2010. That’s much less of a colossal fuck-up than sending it out to the over 15,000 students and grad students under the full umbrella of Cornell’s numerous colleges and schools.

An Important Cause to Support for Gays and Their Allies

Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009

So, this might just get national attention and I can still pre-empt the Daily Sun, so here’s something my friend Chris Donohoe send to me. Chris is a really nice guy, and — sorry dude — we’ve pretty much known he was gay since freshman year. In any case, he is a gay man of faith  and that’s something that the religious group he was involved with couldn’t learn to tolerate:

Tomorrow (Thursday, April 23) an article will run in the Cornell Daily Sun.  It will showcase the following information.

At the beginning of this academic year I (Chris Donohoe) was asked to step down from my leadership position with a religious organization (Chi Alpha Christian Fellowship) on campus after coming out of the closet.  Although the university is taking aggressive action to address this injustice, it is time for the LGBT community and its allies to unite.

Read the rest of this entry »

Snap of the Day: In Which the Arts Quad Becometh Art

Saturday, April 11th, 2009

ART QUAD.
ART QUAD.

WTF? Oh, it’s art! Land art, to be precise. I asked a guy who was unloading the bagfuls of hay stuff into big heaps, and he said that it was:

Read the rest of this entry »

Xanax: Now Available at the Libraries?

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

A Google search of
A Google search of
Have you ever had the passing notion that Cornell University might secretly be a front of a giant drug operation? That Big Red might be in cahoots with Big Pharma? Well, a tipster sent on an interesting little Google search (at left) this morning that seems to confirm all of our worst fears. Although it might be pretty sweet to be able to have those magical anxiety-dissolving pills of Xanax to lull cracked-out midnight oil-burners to sleep. Not satisfied, I investigated the fishy matter on library.cornell.edu further by — of course — searching “Xanax” in their little engine of their own.

Read the rest of this entry »

Miss Cleo to Consult with University Financiers

Friday, April 3rd, 2009

Miss Cleo, Cornell's newest consultant.
Miss Cleo, Cornell's newest consultant.
While the recession of the century becomes a tiring pop culture trend story, academic institutions are facing a real economic crisis, a trend epitomized in the recent advice book How to Survive without a Golden Parachute. With such perilous uncertainty ahead, the wizards of Cornell, Incorporated (that is to say, the men behind the curtain) are turning to more “alternative” means of financial planning.  After several attempts to schedule a meeting with John Edward of Crossing Over, the superstar psychic repeatedly declined, commenting: “My unreal ability to speak to peoples’ deceased loved ones doesn’t qualify me to make a financial forecast.”

Disgusted by the psychic’s incompetence, Esteemed alumna Ann Coulter called Edward a faggot, in a move reminiscent of her to-do with a certain politician named John Edwards.  Exasperated and unfulfilled, the University contacted psychic/shaman/scam artist Miss Cleo, née Youree Dell Harris.  The oddly named Youree “saw the University’s request for help coming” and gracefully obliged. An independent marketing firm saw the move as “potentially fruitful” but was wary of “lurking telephone bill charges.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Daily Sun Spill Forces Slope Day Admins’ Hand

Friday, March 27th, 2009

OMG I <3 COLLEGE 2!!!!!1111
OMG I <3 COLLEGE 2!!!!!1111
Thanks to the terrific investigatory work of the Sun, we now know that (1) post-feminist, former burlesque act, and kind of made-up band the Pussycat Dolls are headlining Slope Day and, since the Programming Board were pretty much obligated to make an announcement on the performers, that (2) proto-collegian, former middlebrow Philly suburb resident, and somewhat bothersome white rapper Asher Roth is opening for the glamor-sluts. Oh, and (3) that, unlike the past four years, there is no ostensible third act in sight ($_$ woes?). Asher is a solid second choice, b/c he’s all about wearing self-referential shirts that say COLLEGE like that rly classy Animal House guy and drinking beers and smoking weeds. Plus, I think he is descended from a line of people that often attend college and own lots of fancy things. Also, he was an early education major before his mad good flow got “discovered” so his performance will def be super-educational! Check out his “I Love College” video after da jump.

Read the rest of this entry »

The Green Cafe Opens, Grandly

Thursday, March 26th, 2009

Banner in the Green Cafe's window.
Banner in the Green Cafe's window.
The Green Cafe opened today at 4pm, to a throng of mostly college students who packed the place with a line out the door and around the corner of College and Dryden. I didn’t have the patience to wait for the “LOT OF FREE TASTING” but I did catch a quick listen of the “DJ MUSIC.” A friend told me the generously gratis food was delish, and the place looks fab in general — three words: shiny red stoolthings. It’s truly refreshing to finally fill one of Collegetown’s pathologically empty storefronts — let’s hope this one weathers the whims of college kids and the oddly business-unfriendly regulations of the City of Ithaca. Click through for an inside view.

Read the rest of this entry »

Meeting Larry Paciotti: CornellWatch’s Interview with Legendary Porn Director Chi Chi LaRue

Thursday, March 5th, 2009


Meeting Larry Paciotti: CornellWatch’s Interview with Legendary Porn Director Chi Chi LaRue from Evan Mulvihill on Vimeo.

If you are a gay man who doesn’t know who Larry Paciotti is, that’s forgivable. But if you gay men don’t know Chi Chi LaRue, you might be fooling yourself — she (the drag/gay porn director persona of Larry) has directed hundreds (thousands? is too lazy to do research) of titles you may have used your dominant hand to “enjoy.” Watch on, trannies.

Meet the Cornell Daily Pun’s 127th Editorial Board

Monday, March 2nd, 2009

Oh hey Daily Pun.
Oh hey Daily Pun.
As they say, the Pun rises in the yeast. What I mean by this is that the newly elected Daily Sun’s 127th Editorial Board loves to pun, and also that this new Sun is “rising” in an alcohol-fermented haze much akin to the Friday mornings of most “journalists.” On all counts, I wholeheartedly approve! Mostly because they layered on the puns so thick it makes me look like, I dunno, someone who is not that big of a pun fan. Someone like Sarah Palin, maybe. Anyway, here’s just a taste of the pun-dried tomatoes that discerning punsters may chuckle about while pundering over the Board’s intropuntory article:

Read the rest of this entry »


Buy discount designer purses replica handbags authentic designer handbags.