Archive for the ‘news’ Category
Monday, February 9th, 2009
One of Coulter's biggest fan's rendition of the superstar herself.Least appreciated Cornell alum in hot water over technicality: Ann Coulter voted in Connecticut while living in New York. In other news, no one really cares. Except maybe the person who photoshopped the image at left. [Cornell Insider] P.S. We apologize to any Nazis offended by the image.
Milstein hits new roadblock: The plans for the construction of Architecture building Milstein Hall have already taken 10 years to push through. But no! It must not go forward, claim annoying profs like Vincent Mulcahy, who doth protest the lack of accessibility to differently-abled persons: “A handicap [sic] person who might want to study architecture here, it’s impossible.” [News 10 Now]
The nerve!: Either CornellWatch is too young, too unread, and/or too unfabulous, or we got SNUBBED by USNews.com in their “Best Alternative Media Outlet 2008″ contest. Whatever. IvyGate is in dead last, so we’re going to try to be schadenfreude-y about that. [USNews.com]
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Tags: admins, ann coulter, architecture, Big Red, cornell, david skorton, endowment, frats, google, Harvard, IvyGate, malgam mondays, metaezra, milstein, tracy mitrano, usnews.com
Posted in events, malgam mondays, news | 1 Comment »
Friday, February 6th, 2009
Promotional materials for Camp Pray the Gay Away. Read the post to understand this caption.HOT OFF THE PRESSES: The Daily Sun made a landmark move today in deciding to print the columns of two writers known to be flamingly gay on the same exact page. It is unclear whether the publication itself was a heartwarming act of tolerance toward God-forsaken faggots or if the faggots in question, by some mischevious act such as they are wont to engage in, highjacked the electronic and mechanical methods by which the Sun normally engages in printing its newspaper thing. In any case,
John-David Brown discussed his sinful acts of sodomy at length in his column, a column that was a narcissistic, self-indulgent litany of ” ‘interesting’ tidbits about [himself].” The one I speak of is number 13, a number known to be in violation of God’s Code because of the pagan belief that it is bad luck: “I have a premature ejactulation problem when I’m on Adderal or trying to be on top. Did you know that about me? I think not.” Did you know that I didn’t want to know that? I think so. And
Peter Fritch’s column was equally, if not more, blasphemous:
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Tags: cornell, in brief, john-david brown, peter fritch, the gays
Posted in events, in brief, news | No Comments »
Wednesday, February 4th, 2009
There is life after Cornell, apparently, and sometimes it involves working in New York City and making fun satirical Web sites. At least that’s what worked out for Kitsch’s very own Samantha Henig, who corresponded with me via e-mail about being the co-creator of a Web site called IThoughtObamaWouldGetMeLaid.com. The site satirizes what Henig, along with fellow co-creators Jonah Green (friend) and Jessica Zimmerman (sister), perceived as the unrealistic expectations to which voters held then-president-elect Obama. Check it out: each time you click on the big block text, it refreshes into another hysterically delusional conjecture. Personal favorite: “I thought Obama would nominate a Secretary of Cute Bunnies and Kitties.” A boy can dream, can’t he?
CornellWatch: How did you, Jonah, and Jess come up with the idea?
Jonah and I were gchatting during work, complaining about what a bad time it is in the book/magazine industry and various more superficial complaints (my junk-food-binge-induced achey body, his alcohol-and-salt-induced puffy face), and the idea grew really organically and almost instantly out of that.
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Tags: alumni, henig, interviews, kitsch, sam henig, websites
Posted in interviews, new media, news | No Comments »
Wednesday, February 4th, 2009
No longer. D:Breaking: JuicyCampus.com is shutting down tonight at midnight! Because — as stated in a press release by founder Matt Ivester — “exponential growth outpaced our ability to muster the resources needed to survive this economic downturn.” Mr. Ivester was surprisingly real in the release, and his closing statement actually kinda touched me. Enough to include it in a block quote!
On behalf of everyone here at JuicyCampus, I would like to thank all of our users for reading, contributing to, and telling your friends about the site. And I’d like to thank everyone who has engaged in meaningful discussion about online privacy and internet censorship. JuicyCampus has raised issues that have passionate advocates on both sides, and I hope that dialogue will continue. While there are parts of JuicyCampus that none of us will miss – the mean-spirited posts and personal attacks – it has also been a place for the fun, lighthearted gossip of college life. I hope that is how it is remembered.
After the jump, a couple of friends and I eulogize our fallen cyber-flibbertigibbet in an elegy. And the press release in full and Shutdown FAQ from the JuicyCampus Blog itself.
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Tags: breaking, gossip, JuicyCampus, poeming
Posted in an ode to..., news | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, January 28th, 2009
few grieve her unfortunate demise… perhaps she should never have been in the first place.Buy your tickets to witness
Ludacris and Shawnna’s pimping of our entire campus as soon as they go
on sale Feb. 3rd, because Slope Day is going to suck: the University is cutting $70,000+ from their budget, and that’s money that probably can’t be made up elsewhere. Another victim, sort of: Uris Libe’s Tower Cafe, which Cornell Dining
quietly closed over Winter Break. Nobody really cared about Tower, though, as an admin only received “a couple” emails about it. Only a couple? But as of right now there are ten (10!) whole members in the Facebook group “
BRING BACK TOWER CAFE“! Apparently, there’s other “more important” scary stuff happening because of the recession too, as D-Skorts let us know in a campus-wide email:
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Tags: admins, concerts, cornell, dining, luda, ludacris, recession
Posted in news | 1 Comment »
Sunday, January 25th, 2009
OMFG. O. M. F. G.Right now, you can’t search for shit on cornell.edu, and it’s pissing me the fuck off. I have unfamiliar professors to beseechingly email! Distant colleagues with whom to reconnect! Hotties (whose name I spied on the cover of her Anthro notebook) to stalk! As you can see above, though, they’re working on it. They are really fucking working on it. They are working so hard that they’re not really sure when they’re going to be done. But yeah. It’s all okay, man, because it’ll be over soon. It will be over soon.
Tags: ARGH ARGH ARGH, cornell.edu
Posted in iRant, in brief, news | No Comments »
Monday, January 12th, 2009
Bak 2 Skool!So it’s about that time in our long, long winter hibernation that we Cornellians realize that, shit, we only have one week left till we begin sleeping through classes and drinking too much! For those in the Greek system, you’re already back wooing starry-eyed freshmen (and desperate upperclassmen) with
booze and strippers. If you are one of those fratty or sororry types and have any tips on particularly salacious goings-on of Rush Week, send ‘em to watch@kitschmag.com.
Booklists are up, so if you, like me, would rather have an angry mob of pre-Meds batter you to death on Ho Plaza with their biology tomes than get ass-fucked by the Cornell Store’s prices, check these following options:
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Tags: booklists, cornell store, how to buy cheap textbooks, rush week
Posted in how to..., news | 1 Comment »
Sunday, December 7th, 2008
Capn kitteh neadz summa dis noo medisin I herd abowt!Everyone knows at least three bullshit cures to the hiccups. Dress up as Liza Minnelli and jump out from behind a couch, cackling like you’re on Larry King Live. Hold your breath like an auto-erotic asphyxiating teen. Take a shot of olive oil, toss some salt over your right shoulder, and then have you friend smack the silly outta ya. And now there’s a new bullshit cure for the one affliction more woebegone than the hiccups: alcoholism!
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Tags: drugs n alcohol, weill medical
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Thursday, December 4th, 2008
Me and mah boy Pedro, cell phone pic-style.Yo
Daily Sun,
Much respe’t for putting me and my homie Peter Fritch (edituh-in-chief, WHAT WHAT) on today’s list of “25 Awesome, under-the-radar Seniors @ Cornell.” And even more respe’t for dubbin’ us the “most ludicrously awesome non-Sun writers and editors.” Word. Y’all ain’t frontin’ when you say y’all “give credit when credit’s due.” Now let me just break it down for you. Let me break it down that I would normally make some joke like “Under the radar, Sun? Boy, you needs to get yo’ radar-measurin’ device ALL UP in the repair shop!” But I was thinkin’ about it and it’s high time to holla back, because, as much as I been a hater, y’all put together a fly-ass newspaper. Here’s three reasons why I love you in a crazy way:
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Tags: Daily Sun, old media, sarah singer
Posted in catapostrophe, news | 2 Comments »
Friday, November 28th, 2008
A sample post from Posh Society. Don’t get it? Neither do we.And its name is
Posh Society! WTF is it? Um, I don’t really get it, yet, but I’m working on it. They say they’re an “
interactive forum for entertainment and communication, where users anonymously evaluate the social scene at their college.” It’s like
JuicyCampus, but with pictures? And instead of subject matter like discussion of the least manicured vagina on campus (“Grass on the Pitch? Shave that shit!”), we have pictures of people you don’t know and Perez Hilton-style commentary (see “she bangs, she bangs,” at left). It’s not really clear who posts or moderates all these blog-style posts, and the site’s admins didn’t respond to my email. But you can submit gossip in a typical blog entry form, so, being the wily journalist that I am, I decided to see if I could get something past the mysterious
crab people moderators.
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Tags: posh society
Posted in news | 1 Comment »
