Archive for the ‘opinion’ Category
Wednesday, February 3rd, 2010
And the actress who played her just got nominated for a supporting actress Oscar! That would be Anna Kendrick in Up in the Air — itself nominated for Best Picture — for her superb portrayal of Cornell grad Natalie Keener. In the office, Natalie is everything that Andy Bernard isn’t: professional, upwardly ambitious, and terribly stiff.
Where Andy Bernard reminisces aloud of his Here Comes Treble a cappella superstardom at Cornell, Natalie is the type who’s more likely to remember nights spent tirelessly studying for her upper-level Johnson School classes, which she took on top of her AEM courses just to show her classmates that the Ag School Biz program is not a joke. Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: andy bernard, anna kendrick, cornell, the office, up in the air
Posted in news, opinion | No Comments »
Saturday, April 11th, 2009
An artist's rendering of the general flavor of this article.If you have ever had your moments of doubt about the so-called liberal media, look no further than yesterday’s above-the-fold cover story in the esteemed
Cornell Daily Sun. The article describes the pain, dismay, and utter, utter misfortune that 25 prospective students endured at the hands of the evil (Evil?) Office of Financial Aid. What happened was this: FinAid accidentally sent out a high-five e-mail to those 25 students, who had already been mercilessly rejected. According to the article, “Students who received the article said they were confused, disappointed, and outraged.”
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Tags: criticism, Daily Sun, i'm a sassy bitch y'all, the liberal "media"
Posted in a cautionary tale, criticism, hard news, newsy narrative, old media, opinion | No Comments »
Sunday, March 1st, 2009
A conjecture of what our three speakers might look like in the flesh.This week, we bring you not one but three (3!) rousing posts contemplating the nature of, shall we say, the presence (or lack thereof!) of follicles in the crotchal region. The first is a spectacularly reasoned entreaty by a concerned woman who just wants men to shave some — BUT NOT ALL! — of their junk hair. LOL. The second begins the descent into madness/irrelevance, as we hear what I presume to be a man bewailing the sorry state of female Craigslist picture-posters. Happily, it ends on a positive note: “I saw a girl once who had an arrow shaved, pointing to the sweet spot….” The final post begins ominously, bearing the mark of the devil: an improperly used semicolon! It ends with what can only be properly described as full-blown Satanism: the terrible, awful, wretched mangling of a perfectly holy adage! Read on to discover the follies.
ACT I: A MODEST PROPOSAL
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Tags: Craigslist, Ithaca, poop, pubic hair, stalking sundays
Posted in opinion, stalking sundays, stuff to do if ur bored | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, February 25th, 2009
I totally didn't quit flute in the 7th grade because it was too homosexual.Yo Evan,
Some wild hearsay: Skorton and some other big higher-ups at Cornell scheduled a meeting with the chief Sun editors for yesterday afternoon relating to a big press release. Apparently the shit is going to hit the fan at the end of this week, maybe tomorrow or Friday. BUT at the last minute, Skorton canceled the meeting. Speculations have been running wild. Big budget cuts? He’s announcing his new concert series of jazzy flute-saxophone duets with Bill Clinton? Alien invasion of Goldwin Smith? Only time will tell.
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Tags: , bill clinton, english, recesh, skorton, tipsters
Posted in Ruh Roh!, opinion, wildly unconfirmed wednesdays | 1 Comment »
Thursday, February 12th, 2009
The original display, pre-vandalism.Most of Cornell’s class-attending pedestrians have encountered the earnest appeals of various student groups’ clunky quad displays. I, for one, have calmly settled into the habit of taking their message to heart, and then promptly forgetting it sometime during my requisite mid-lecture nap. After all, it’s a little unrealistic to envision
a talking fetus named Elena, especially one giving you facts about her developing organs that she wouldn’t learn until at least ninth grade biology class.
When the encounter involves some 1,300 black flags commemorating the deaths of those killed in the most recent flare-up of the ongoing Israeli-Palestinian conflict, as it did this Monday morning when they were installed, it’s a little harder to criticize the reality of the message or to exorcise it with a nap. Adding fuel to the fire, the flags’ accompanying signs — statements from the UN and Amnesty International about casualties and humanitarian aid — were vandalized by three seemingly “pro-Israel” students later that day. While that situation was quickly rectified and the signs restored, the worst was to come Wednesday night, when the flags were transfigured into a Star of David under cover of darkness, finally garnering the attention of President David Skorton. Here’s an excerpt of the statement he released this afternoon, which neglected to mention the whole, um, Star of David thing:
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Tags: alexandra perrotti, david skorton, gaza, Hillel, IAJ, israeli-palestinian conflict, jacob shapiro, khullat munir
Posted in Ruh Roh!, news, opinion, serious shit | 3 Comments »
Monday, February 9th, 2009
College ACB's logo. Vaguely communist? Get McCarthy on this shit, stat.Once before,
CornellWatch has
potentially offended differently-abled people in order to accurately insult a college gossip site. Well, folks, tonight we are stooping to that level again: the fallen
JuicyCampus.com now redirects to a new college gossip site entitled
CollegeACB.com, which is legimately even more retarded than both Juicy and PoshSociety. ACB stands for Anonymous Confession Board, which sounds like a place where a Yalie would go to ask for penance after they broke into the dining hall to steal milkshakes when they were high. In any case, CollegeACB is trying to take a similar “positive” angle on college gossip as PoshSociety, as per their terms of use:
Read the rest of this entry »
Tags: ACB, JuicyCampus, PoshSociety
Posted in new media, news, opinion | 3 Comments »
Friday, January 30th, 2009
An artist's depiction of the collective S.A.F.C.The steakhouse-loving old suits on the trustee board have brought the woeful axe of recession past Libe Cafe and Slope Day and forced Ryan Lavin/the Student Assembly into “deciding” to
halt the potential creation of any and all new student groups for one semester yesterday. Well, at least they took the time and effort to consult the “Cornell community” before they “decided” on this issue! Seriously, though, this is
some shit. This is a half-baked, partially aborted fetus of a resolution, a resolution that instead of arbitrarily freezes the potential creation of legitimate student groups instead of focusing on rooting out the bad eggs that eat up the S.A.F.C.’s funds.
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Tags: admins, ARGH ARGH ARGH, iRant, SAFC, student groups
Posted in iRant, opinion | No Comments »
Saturday, August 30th, 2008
Via the Daily SunSo you probably have heard that some University admintard(s) decided to
erect a draconian fence that blocks entry to the path down to the Fall Creek gorge (the one where everyone lays out on the flat rock below the Suspension Bridge) and pranksters have been cutting holes through said draconian fence. And you probably have been wondering, “WHODUNIT?” or rather “WHO IN THIS GOD-FORSAKEN ADMINISTRATION DUN IT?”
MetaEzra’s
Matthew Nagowski
certainly has. A source* informed
CornellWatch that, probably like every other legalish administrative decision ever, it seems that a “consensus” was reached during a large meeting between the “University Council Office” and key administrative figures. But when was this meeting convened? Who exactly presided over this august body? And, perhaps more importantly,
what is the University Council Office?
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Tags: administration, doug lowe, fence
Posted in news, opinion | 1 Comment »
Saturday, May 3rd, 2008
I wrote a guest column for the Daily Sun about my personal experiences and realizations in the wake of the controversial April Fools Day post that used and abused Asian stereotypes. Check it out. (They couldn’t put it in the print edition because they were overloaded with senior goodbyes, but I will try to get it posted in the fall when they resume publication.)
Tags: A3C, Daily Sun
Posted in opinion | No Comments »
Monday, April 28th, 2008
If you haven’t already, go check out “My Night with Jenna B.” It’s written by this dude who totally banged Jenna B and apparently she totally pulled the downward-head-push on HIM and she totally was only a 5.75 outta 10 in the BJ department….
But we want to know: who is the author, the so-called “Cunnilingus Cowboy”? The Sun provides these little hints at the bottom of the story:
The ‘Cunnilingus Cowboy’ is a senior. The Sun granted him pseudonymity to protect his identity, but has verified, to the best of its ability, the facts of the article. The article is printed with Jenna B.’s permission.
Pseudonymity? Fuck that shit. We faithful readers want answers.
After the break: a poorly thought out theories of mine as to who this disrespec’in’ cowboy is.
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Tags: Daily Sun, Jenna B
Posted in opinion | No Comments »
