A rare pair of clothed celebrators. Photo by M. Fleury

At 12:15 AM, Collegetown erupted in celebration as a result of President Obama’s 11:35 PM official announcement that Osama bin Laden had been killed. One can assume that the delay was due to the rioters’ dearth of American flags, though a representative from Wal-Mart confirmed that the Ithaca location had not sold “any more than usual.”

Various shirtless young men were still parading around Collegetown as late as 1 AM, undeterred by the closure of Rulloff’s and Johnny O’s. Said Todd French ‘12, who was sporting an American flag tied around his neck, “It’s really important that we’re out here, you know, celebrating America.” His companion, Rob Greenwald ‘10, added, “I was gonna stay inside, but this is like…a historic moment here. So I felt drawn to it.”

Several were arrested on the grounds of drunk and disorderly conduct. As pickup trucks with boxer-clad, flag-waving men drove by, honking madly, bottle rockets exploded and groups urged passers-by to join them in singing the national anthem. One young man, asked how his shouting, “America! Fuck yeah!” would help the troops, screamed, “I AM THE TROOPS!” Then he ran into the night, presumably to join the “rager” in the 300 block of College Ave.

Points off for the forcible touching dig, but otherwise, this was friggin’ hilarious. Nice work, “BigRedBearz.”

Death by delivery man

Word on the street is that a Taste of Thai delivery man grew so incensed by finals week zombie-eyed narcissism (i.e., no tips) that he gave Olin Library a little something to remember him by.

As a barista at Libe, I can’t blame the guy.  Finals week makes people  assholes.

Cruising home from the beach far out on Long Island, we discovered… the Cornell University International Duck Research Cooperative???

Matt, for reasons known only to himself, decided to stake his claim as a Cornellian by parking on the grass.  Literally within thirty seconds, a huge SUV pulled up and ordered us OUT.  The only explanation?  Cornell must be breeding mutant killer ducks.

Or, according to the website: “The Duck Laboratory came into existence in 1949 as a result of a working relationship between duck producers on Long Island and Cornell University.  At that time, very little scientific research was being carried out on ducks. In contrast, a considerable amount of research was being conducted at a number of universities on chicken and turkey production. The relatively small size of the duck industry in the United States, compared to the chicken and turkey industries, placed the duck industry at a decided disadvantage in obtaining financial support for research.  To help overcome this obstacle, the duck growers made a commitment to pay a large portion of the cost of research themselves through the payment of dues and fees. An agreement between Cornell University, and what was soon to become the Long Island Duck Research Cooperative was reached to establish and operate a duck laboratory at Eastport, New York.”

This strange sight was the Black Lantern Processional, a hundred-year-old tradition of the Alpha Sigma Phi fraternity.

Cornell University’s chapter of Alpha Sigma Phi has been performing the Black Lantern Processional every year as a commemoration of deceased brothers and as an initiation ritual for new pledges. This year and almost every year in the past, the event has fallen on Cornell Days, a weekend when Cornell hosts and recruits prospective students. Supposedly, one year a pre-frosh was so disturbed by the ritual that he decided not to come to Cornell the following year.

The Processional is certainly a strange and very public sight, and the brothers of Alpha Sigma Phi seem to take that very seriously. Older fraternity members were handing out quarter-cards explaining the event, which included a statement denying their association with supremacist or racist groups (many might agree that some of the cloaks are vaguely reminiscent of Ku Klux Klan garb).

The brothers handing out quarter-cards could not divulge too much information about the symbolism of the event, and the cloaked brothers would not even speak at all. Yet, the president of the fraternity was able to explain that at exactly 7:09 pm, the circle of black-cloaked brothers would converge in the center, and the blue-cloaked brother would lead them in a procession back to their fraternity house. Why 7:09? In military time, that is 19:09, the year that the fraternity was founded at Cornell.

And that is exactly what occurred.

Are they greenhouses?  Part of a solar energy experiment?  The latest product in sustainable design?  Nope, rumor has it that the three plastic structures that appeared on the Arts Quad this morning are part of an installation art project by a professor of architecture in the School of Art, Architecture, and Planning.  Apparently she required her second-year architecture class to come help set it up– a “fun” Sunday afternoon break from studio.

Can’t read the sign? Wondering whose people’s deaths the pink flag remembers? A close-up after the jump.

Yeah, the pink one’s for the geighs. Of course.

WTF? Oh, it’s art! Land art, to be precise. I asked a guy who was unloading the bagfuls of hay stuff into big heaps, and he said that it was:

An architecture project commemorating the 40th anniversary of the exhibit that like STARTED it all, it being “land art.” And where was that exhibit hosted? Right here at Cornell. So some visiting professors in the Architecture program put this shit together. It’s actually mad precise, they use rulers and shit:

CONTEST: Guess the number of bags of hay they used — no counting the rows and columns, though, y’all. Send your guesstermation to watch@kitschmag.com and you’ll get a blog post featuring YOU or a PERSON OF YOUR CHOICE. Fo’ real real, not fo’ play play.

There was other cool stuff on the Arts Quad, too. Something less avant-garde and more, um, avant-guard?

Who are they? Ring of Steel! (Risley.) Here’s what the president sent me in an email:

Hi Evan!

Ring of Steel meets Mondays and Thursdays at 8pm in Risley’s Great Hall. For the next few weeks we’ll be using Saturday practices as “fights only” because we have a few performances coming up.

There’s no previous experience necessary; we’d love to have you join us! The doors to Risley are card access, but we’ll have a Ringer standing by the door at the beginning of practices to let people in. You can add yourself to the list-serv if you like.. Send an email to rosi-l-request@cornell.edu. The body of the email should just said the word ‘join’ (without the quotes). Hope to see you around!

You’re welcome to contact me for more information. Here’s a link to the original chapter of Ring of Steel in Ann Arbor, Michigan. http://ringofsteel.org/

Jen Wholey
President
Ring of Steel: Ithaca

And no one is around to hear it — as the officer nearby testified — does it make a sound? Physicists tell me that it does, but I’m still waiting to hear back from the Philosophy department.

MOAR PIX.