Bursar’s Office Ups Tax on Absent-Minded People

August 27th, 2008 by D. Evan Mulvihill

Cornell has made another bold move in its fight to eradicate Forgetful Freddies this semester, increasing the cost of replacing Cornell Student Identification Cards from $25 to $35. Students are predictably outraged about having to shell out enough money to buy 2.5 handles of Barton’s for a freaking shiny piece of plastic with your face on it, and administrators may face protests and angry drunken messages.

“I am dismayed and outraged by this new cost increase,” said one student who happens to be myself. ”What’s next–$6 for a sandwich at Trillium?”

Some university administrators attempted to construct flimsy excuses defending the change, citing the expensive materials and skilled labor needed to produce Cornell IDs. “The ID department has been in the red for years,” said some lady at the office.”Mostly because of the first replacement ID is free.”

Pseudo-fake newsing aside, THIS IS SO FREAKING ANNOYING.

Cornell in Beijing

August 25th, 2008 by D. Evan Mulvihill

The two Cornell Olympians, Jen Kaido and Ken Jurkowski.
The two Cornell Olympians, Jen Kaido and Ken Jurkowski.

Apparently the Olympics ended yesterday. Some guy mentioned a “Closing Ceremony” or something. Good riddance, I say! Now we can all get back to watching quality daytime programming on NBC like Days of Our Lives.

Anywho, how the hell did Cornell and, for that matter, the rest of the Ivies, do in Beijing?

We had 2 Olympians in attendance, Ken Jurkowski and Jennifer Kaido, both rowers who graduated in 2003 and did not medal. But they did pretty fantastically, considering it’s the Olympics: Jurkowski finished 11th overall in the Men’s Single Sculls, while Kaido finished 5th in the women’s quadruple sculls. Congrats to both of them! Maybe we can get an interview or something?

Ivygate has an overview of the the League’s medal count, mostly culled from iviesinchina.com. The so-called “Ivy Nation” sent 42 athletes who brought back 14 medals, which they say is a really good ratio. They also say that if the Ivy League were a country, we’d have the 8th most overall medals in the whole world. Just another reason to be elitist pigs, I suppose.

Welcome Back Crunknellians: Some Newsbits

August 23rd, 2008 by D. Evan Mulvihill

Shush… don’t tell anyone we showed you this.
Shush… don’t tell anyone we showed you this.
Since everybody’s getting back into town, welcome to Ithaca! Here’s what’s going on:

1) Suspension Bridge Gorge Closed Off: That’s right, they’ve fenced off the path down to the best sun-bathing gorge in all of Ithaca! Because, three officers ”valiantly” standing guard told me, two people had drowned in the gorge already this summer. [Update: Only one student, Doug Lowe ‘11, died while swimming the gorges this summer.] Luckily, some criminally mischievous pranksters have already committed rebellious actions against the nameless administrative power who perpetrated this stainless steel stain upon our beauteous gorge. At least the heinous Big Red Arches had some (empty) ideal to aspire to… all these assemblages of metal remind me of is a fascist lockdown.

2) IthPo Hate On College Parties: Nothing new here, but it seemed to me that the Ithaca Police Department was out in especially full force last night, trying to make sure overeager freshmen didn’t get overintoxicated and overstay their welcome in Collegetown. This would be one of those totally anecdotal trend stories, sort of like the ones Newsweek and Time run, but then I checked the IthPo police logs: so many noise complaints! (Comparable to past years, though? You do the research; I’m too lazy.)

3) New Student Orientationizing Commences! There’s all sorts of EXCITING, EXCITING events going on in “The Orientation Files.” Like the Swim Test and Alcohol Education and Advanced Placement Exams! But don’t tell anyone we told you… they’re all TOP SECRET. Unless of course you manage to stumble upon one of the precious few thousands that were printed. Luckily for you, we managed to spider-crawl through some red and green laser sensors and got our hands on this copy of the freshman guide. And in case you thought those programs didn’t do shit for the new freshies, the Daily Sun did some stellar, hard-hitting reporting and discovered that the program is designed to help students adapt to life at Cornell. Make sure you mention this as you nudge the person who fell asleep next to you in Tapestry of Possibilities: Diversity at Cornell.

Got anything more to add? Email us at watch@kitschmag.com.

Summer Vacay

May 16th, 2008 by D. Evan Mulvihill

Over the summer, CornellWatch will not be updated, but watch for us August 25, when we’ll be liveblogging from the Democratic National Convention. coming back to Ithaca. YEAH!

Have a great break!

Racism and the Asian and Asian American Community

May 3rd, 2008 by D. Evan Mulvihill

I wrote a guest column for the Daily Sun about my personal experiences and realizations  in the wake of the controversial April Fools Day post that used and abused Asian stereotypes. Check it out. (They couldn’t put it in the print edition because they were overloaded with senior goodbyes, but I will try to get it posted in the fall when they resume publication.)

Whose Night with/in Jenna B.? Or: Adventures in Pseudonymity

April 28th, 2008 by D. Evan Mulvihill

If you haven’t already, go check out “My Night with Jenna B.” It’s written by this dude who totally banged Jenna B and apparently she totally pulled the downward-head-push on HIM and she totally was only a 5.75 outta 10 in the BJ department….

But we want to know: who is the author, the so-called “Cunnilingus Cowboy”? The Sun provides these little hints at the bottom of the story:

The ‘Cunnilingus Cowboy’ is a senior. The Sun granted him pseudonymity to protect his identity, but has verified, to the best of its ability, the facts of the article. The article is printed with Jenna B.’s permission.

Pseudonymity? Fuck that shit. We faithful readers want answers.

After the break: a poorly thought out theories of mine as to who this disrespec’in’ cowboy is.

Read the rest of this entry »

Stalking or Romantic Comedy?

April 22nd, 2008 by D. Evan Mulvihill

Here’s one scenario: 

Hobbling back from the library, a young college co-ed notices out of the corner of her eye a shiny new Lexus gleaming in the lamplight. She makes her way toward her apartment complex, arms full of books, and the car moves closer, revealing a dashing young blonde suitor with a fraternity-lettered sweathshirt on. As he passes, the studious young paramour catches his lusty eye, and he resolves to return once again to court his one true love.

The next week, he returns at the same time and asks her if she needs a ride; she demurely shakes her head no. He glides off into the night, hoping to chance upon her at a more socially opportune moment: perhaps when she is very drunk at a party.

A slight variation of the scenario follows after the break. This one replaces “shiny red Lexus” with “rusty old pick-up truck”; “fraternity lettered-sweatshirt” with “a black t-shirt with writing on it”; and ”dashing young blonde suitor” with “white male in his early 30s.”

Read the rest of this entry »

No More Jokes

April 16th, 2008 by D. Evan Mulvihill
AUTHOR’S NOTE: This is a piece I wrote for the 4/16 edition of Bully Pulpit, a political publication on-campus that solicited an explanation of the controversial April Fools’ Day post and its aftermath. It contains an editor’s note (written by Everet Yi) at the bottom, which is reproduced below.

On April 1, I decided to post a Onion-style fake news piece titled “Asian Community Center to be Built Adjacent to Uris Library” on CornellWatch (blogs.kitschmag.com/watch), a blog about current events on campus. I figured it was April Fools’ Day, and that making light of stereotypes might somehow be more acceptable. The center was big news yesterday, and seemed like something that could stand up to some misguided lampooning. In any case, it was “satire,” right?

Wrong. Exactly a week later, some members of the Asian community, specifically those invested in the planning of the community center, found out about the post. Understandably, they didn’t think jokes about their status as the so-called “model minority” were very funny, and my initial response to them was basically: okay, I’m sorry that you’re offended and all, but you’re really reading way too much into this. After all, it was just a joke—a very crass, fell-flat-on-its-face type of joke—and as such, the viewpoints were not ones that I personally hold.

I hastily drew up a new post entitled “An Open Apology for a Bad Joke” and removed the offending April Fools’ post. I explained that I felt their pain and understood that the model minority stereotype is “the reason for the unrealistic academic pressure that Asian and Asian-American students face and likely the reason that they commit a disproportionate amount of Cornell’s suicides.”

Those shards of glass threatening to rip my journalistic credibility to threads were magically swept on the carpet—I was saved, right?

Wrong again. Riding the blogosphere train, commenters swarmed in on and tore apart my poorly constructed and ill-conceived apology. I was described as “a racist, pure and simple,” “some idiot college columnist [trying] to increase his… street cred,” and ultimately “a part of the problem.” Some intrepid internet vigilante even created a blog for me, reposting my initial entry and my “bullshit apology” below an image of two Ku Klux Klan members.

I have to admit that this was a scary situation for me, but that ultimately it is one that I am glad to have experienced. I met with concerned members of the Asian and Asian-American Center (A3C) and was educated as to the specifics of what angered and worried them about my post. I learned that in writing that post, I really was part of the problem—a problem that a 2004 task force reported as the “perceived lack of recognition and awareness of the reality, experience, and impact of racism and stereotyping as they relate to Asians and Asian Americans.”

I also have learned that I should not be one to speak or make assumptions about sensitive issues such as suicide or the model minority stereotype before I had done an appreciable amount of research; that the situation needs to be amended instead of defended; and that a more robust “meta-apology” of sorts should be issued. Hopefully before next Friday, I will be publishing this more comprehensive apology in the Daily Sun.

Once again—this time in light of more knowledge and less ignorance—I apologize for using racist stereotypes in a way that ridiculed the entire Asian and Asian-American community. I am hopeful that I am on the road to opening a dialogue on-campus about this issue, because, unfortunately, the belief and misuse of these stereotypes is altogether common—and fairly socially acceptable—on the Cornell campus. Please send suggestions and questions about the situation to watch@kitschmag.com.

Editor’s Note: We commend D. Evan Mulvilhill for starting an important dialogue across the Cornell campus. We condemn the commenters who have called Evan a cunt, racist, and a bigot.

We appreciate Evan’s use of humor to highlight the various stereotypes facing Asian and Asian American’s today. After all, if we don’t talk about it, nothing is going to get accomplished.

Without humor and dialogue, the world would be a sad place.

So, thank you Evan. Thanks for being brave by putting yourself out there by starting an important discussion regarding stereotypes concerning the APIA community.

P.S. Everyone calling for Evan’s head, CALM DOWN. Sheesh.

Mustache Party Pics

April 15th, 2008 by D. Evan Mulvihill

Kitsch Magazine (the print one, whoever they are) threw this weird-ass/cool-ass party at No Radio Records this past Friday. These three following pictures pretty much sum it up:

SCRABBLE 

Holla at yo’ Scrabble board.
Holla at yo’ Scrabble board.

MUSTACHES

Our sassy bite size editor, Sadie Smith, rockin’ the Hollywood ’stache.
Our sassy bite size editor, Sadie Smith, rockin’ the Hollywood ’stache.

MUSIC

Oh yeah… there were some bands too.
Oh yeah… there were some bands too.

 MOAR PIX?

http://flickr.com/photos/19485833@N05/sets/72157604529735841/

http://picasaweb.google.com/efeedor1/MustacheParty

http://picasaweb.google.com/sadie.sarah/MustacheParty?pli=1

Class of 2012: The More The Merrier

April 13th, 2008 by D. Evan Mulvihill

Doris Davis, associate provost for admissions and enrollment, gave the peering eyes of the Cornell Daily Sun a little glimpse into the vast, tinkering machine that is the Undergraduate Admissions Office.

Davis’s best stuff: “Essentially, Cornell tries to admit as many students as we can without over-enrolling,” she stated. “I think some of the peer schools try to admit as few students as possible.”

Our admit rate ended up being 20.4%. Compared to Harvard’s 7.1%, ours seems rather “unelitist,” but admissions rates don’t really tell us much. For more information on the byzantine workings of the admissions world, read this epic New Yorker article detailing the “social logic of Ivy League admissions.”