CornellWatch

Being from the lamest borough in New York City (Staten Island, in case you’re from Minnesota), I always took solace in the fact that there were far lamer regions nearby, with which my island could compete and (hopefully) come out on top. There’s the epic battle waged between the people from my ‘hood (my Irish people’s and the Italians’) and Long Island (the Jews’), a battle in which the points of contention were based on the same embarrassing features: annoying accents, materialism amongst its consumer sheeple residents, lack of subway access to Manhattan. With a landfill so massive you can see it from outer space, the battle arguably resulted in Long Island’s favor. Nevertheless, we always had Jersey to agree upon, elevating our geographic (and therefore cultural) superiority. While at Cornell, however, I learned of a strange hilly region directly to the northeast of New York City, a place where, in 1961, some sorry resident emptied her vaginal cavity of one Ann Hart Coulter — our most embarrassing alumna who recently claimed that the Ag School is not a part of the Ivy League.

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Since I’m really into alliteration and forcing myself to do things on a weekly basis, I’m introducing ‘Malgam Mondays. This start-off-the-week-on-the-informed-foot feature will, with a few exceptions, be a regurgitation/reanimation of the stuff I’ve starting posting to the News Ticker, which shows up on CornellWatch itself on the top right side but not on the main Kitsch-Ka-Blogs page. This way I can wipe it clean each week. Here’s the best of the boring things that happened since I started the Ticker. Click on for even more boring stuff.

Least appreciated Cornell alum in hot water over technicality: Ann Coulter voted in Connecticut while living in New York. In other news, no one really cares. Except maybe the person who photoshopped the image at left. [Cornell Insider] P.S. We apologize to any Nazis offended by the image.

Milstein hits new roadblock: The plans for the construction of Architecture building Milstein Hall have already taken 10 years to push through. But no! It must not go forward, claim annoying profs like Vincent Mulcahy, who doth protest the lack of accessibility to differently-abled persons: “A handicap [sic] person who might want to study architecture here, it’s impossible.” [News 10 Now]

The nerve!: Either CornellWatch is too young, too unread, and/or too unfabulous, or we got SNUBBED by USNews.com in their “Best Alternative Media Outlet 2008″ contest. Whatever. IvyGate is in dead last, so we’re going to try to be schadenfreude-y about that. [USNews.com]

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