CornellWatch

The steakhouse-loving old suits on the trustee board have brought the woeful axe of recession past Libe Cafe and Slope Day and forced Ryan Lavin/the Student Assembly into “deciding” to halt the potential creation of any and all new student groups for one semester yesterday. Well, at least they took the time and effort to consult the “Cornell community” before they “decided” on this issue! Seriously, though, this is some shit. This is a half-baked, partially aborted fetus of a resolution, a resolution that instead of arbitrarily freezes the potential creation of legitimate student groups instead of focusing on rooting out the bad eggs that eat up the S.A.F.C.’s funds.

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Right now, you can’t search for shit on cornell.edu, and it’s pissing me the fuck off. I have unfamiliar professors to beseechingly email! Distant colleagues with whom to reconnect! Hotties (whose name I spied on the cover of her Anthro notebook) to stalk! As you can see above, though, they’re working on it. They are really fucking working on it. They are working so hard that they’re not really sure when they’re going to be done. But yeah. It’s all okay, man, because it’ll be over soon. It will be over soon.

So finals are in the air… everyone should’ve screamed at the top of their lungs about 30 minutes ago to alert us of this painful fact. Send us your pictures, videos, interpretative dances, whatever! of people a-hootin’ and a-hollerin’ — and more importantly, tell us your finals horror/comedy stories! Email them to watch@kitschmag.com or just put ‘em right there in the comments.

Ruh roh! Seems like the liberals on campus are pissed off about something… what’s new? Just kidding! That’s the kind of joke only a writer for the Cornell Review (or the defunct Cornell American, which joined forces with the Review last year) would make, which brings me to the point: a diverse array of campus liberals marched around Barton Hall today at Clubfest armed with signs* and indignance because of some nasty little racisty things the Review said in their welcome back issue.

After the group snowballed up and down the rows, they made their way over to the Review’s table and chanted a little about how Cornell must make them go away. And then some guy with a loudspeaker started talking, but I wasn’t really listening. There was a CoPo keeping the peace WHILE sucking on a lollipop (such talent!), and I tried to take a cell phone picture of him but I fucked it up. Anyway, their specific gripes (which a sweaty guy with a clipboard distributed before the “march” to random tables including Kitsch’s, urging us to fight the good fight with him) are after the jump. Also after the jump: why their gripes don’t really make too much sense.

[UPDATE (9/13): Before I get a flood of angry commenters, I want to let people know that I do not support in any way or form the Review. I am sorry that this post comes off like I'm shitting on activists, I'm not. I respect what you're doing here but believe that it's a bit misguided and needs to get its facts straight concerning the Cornell name and ask the administration to do something about the Review with a legitimate claim (aka please check their masthead for a disclaimer, I don't have a copy handy). Please take this into consideration before you post comments.]

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The Registrar’s office has apparently made it impossible for Schedulizer to function, or something.When you log in to the Schedge, the entreating missive at left comes up and explains that “Cornell has made it prohibitively difficult for us to maintain accurate course information.” And even though the good peeps over at Schedulizer (holla back, Ross) have tried their darndest to work with the Registrar to resolve this timely and adequately, “the Registrar has been unresponsive.” The Registrar so tied up in its own red tape that any soul brave enough to venture into cubicle-y abyss comes out with empty answers and the nagging desire to set Day Hall on fire? Unheard of. It seems this whole shebang is due to the switch to the decidedly sucky PeopleSoft, which (not unlike many a beer goggled hook-up) appears pretty and wholesome and kinda cute but in reality sucks giant monkey balls.

This makes times quite trying for we students who did not write down our schedules before 1:30am the night before the first day of classes. And since some unnamed students did not get all the classes they wanted and a bag of potato chips in PreEnroll, some unnamed students are kinda pissed off. And so this colors their decision to send what would normally be a very peaceable and professional email to the evil-sounding UnivRegistrar@cornell.edu. After the jump, the offending email.

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Cornell instituted a new Just the Facts system last spring, and student reviews were glowing… perhaps even explosive. Today at 10:30am (at least it’s not 6), we faced the beast that is PeopleSoft again.

So how’s it doing the second time around? Let’s let the people talk for themselves:

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