Prez D-Skortz on LSD.

Everybody knows “The Economy” sucks. Even David Skorton, our university president (case ya didn’t know), whose Stanford-schooled super-senior son can’t even find employment despite the fact that he took an extra half-year to do an extra major! Sadface. Guess he’ll have to live off the meager $700,000/year salary that daddy earns — but let’s hope he doesn’t have too many coke parties, considering the fact that his noble father hath forgone a salary increase this year. At tonight’s “Senior Presidential Reception,” dapper gentlemen and ladies crowded around our president, trying to get a good word in, or perhaps just to snap a poorly aimed cameraphone picture (see left). And, although Skorton was both drily eloquent and soberly charming when my senior self spoke with him, he didn’t seem to have much to offer in the way of practical advice for seniors who have been fucked in the ass by a shitty job market, one that’s moreover flooded with recent laid-off bitches who are considerably more “senior” than us. “You’ll land on your feet,” he told us right before we toasted the Class of ‘09 with our recently bought $5 champagne glasses. We’ll be fine. Just fine! Right. D-Skortz had earlier told me that I still ought to consider newspapers. (Yawn.) And to talk to University spokesman Tommy Bruce, who I already know. “I often speak fairly unfavorably about the University administration,” I told him. In other words: What’s a brash blogger to do in these days? Skorton said that even critics can get jobs. You know, talking to Tommy might actually be a good option. Damn you and your good sense, D-Skortz. Maybe I will land on my feet. Also: good luck, Class of ‘09. Srsly.