ACT I: A MODEST PROPOSAL

Pubic hair (barenakedlady)

Pubic hair (there)

re;Pubic hair

each to their ownAnd scene.

PRETTIES/SNUGGLIES

1) Toy Poodle (Elmira)

Reply to: [redacted]
Date: 2009-02-12, 1:21PM EST

I have a lovely apricot Toy Poodle to rehome. I rescued her from a breeder. She is 5yrs and up to date with shots and is fixed. She is very quiet and is good with cats.She also gets along with my other dogs and is a Great lap dog. She currently visits older people in the hospital. Great for people with allergies.
She loves to dress up and go shopping or just sit on the sofa with you. I I had to have dental work done since the breeder did not take good care of her so am paying off the $400 vet bill and am asking $150 to go towards it. Please call [redacted] or email.

2)
pure bred black lab pup (seneca falls)

Reply to: [redacted]
Date: 2009-02-15, 9:15PM EST

Hello, I am looking to find a new home for my 12 weeks old female pure bred black lab. She has her first two sets of shots, been dewormed. We did not get papers with her but she is certainly a pure bred, we have all her vet papers. Very beautiful, GREAT tempermant. She is already house broken, she sleeps in her crate at night and goes right to the door when she has to go potty outside. The reason we are finding her a new home is because last friday I gave birth to our second son 10 weeks early and right now are residence is the Ronald McDonald house in rochester so we are not able to care for Molly. We did not expect this and are sad to have to find her a new home.. she has grown on us very quickly. There is a rehoming fee for her, serious inquires only please. Must go soon..

UGLEES/SKERRIES

1) Good home for a crazy Tegu (Ithaca)

Thanks

2) Rose Hair Tarantula (20.00)

My # [redacted]

COOL SUPER SECRET SPECIAL ONE

Albino Milk Snakes (Ithaca, NY)

Thanks,

Zach

Just when the Daily Sun had you convinced that Ithaca was becoming a crazy fascist anti-drunken college party state, the New York Times reminds you that they are in fact just a crazy socialist anti-gas guzzling SUV city. Last week, there was a conference held here to look into whether Ithaca could be a test site for a new commuter technology called “pod cars,” which are basically mini-monorails from Sweden and would cost the City a cool $100 mill. Which is probably about the amount of money they’re raking in from noise violations, so it all works out in the end. The idea is admittedly kooky, but it’s not the brainchild of some head-in-the-clouds faculty member: it comes straight from the files of Jacob A. Roberts, a failed Green Party candidate and canned Ithaca Festival director whose business acumen ended up landing Ithaca Fest $150K in debt. And some people, including Ithaca and Tompkins community members and a New York Times reporter, are falling for his pod car crazytalk despite his previous travesties!

One community member from a neighboring town enthusiastically forwarded a quirkily punctuated email from Roberts in which he hyped up the pod cars conference, saying “various Industry leaders, International PRT NGOs, and even other US city Mayors are already supporting Connect Ithaca* and its effort to situate Ithaca, NY and Tompkins County as the testing, development and manufacturing hub of the first major North American PRT network.   Very exciting, indeed!” It would be very exciting, except for the fact that none of these PRT supporters are named. Very convenient, indeed!

EXHIBIT B: First Day of Battle Looms on GXC

We looked pretty good before on GXC, but now Cornell looks like it needs to get its act together. The only consolation is that Harvard is sucking hard.

 EXHIBIT C: The Cornell Review Saga Continues

The activists who condemned the “extremely offensive, ignorant” speech of the Cornell Review’s orientation issue have formally lodged their complaints with the Student Assembly. While this is all legitimate, past attempts to censor the Review through administrative action have largely proved unsuccessful. And, just to clarify, we here at CornellWatch in no way support the inflammatory speech of the Cornell Review; we simply want to see the issue dealt with in a way that respects freedom of speech and does not attempt to silence voices even if they are horribly horribly racist unpopular ones.

If the Cornell name is taken off the Review, they may still choose to publish (or reprint) bigoted articles. Does anyone seriously believe that the Review represents an official arm of the University? Does anyone actually confuse their views as those of Cornell University? Again, I ask readers to go check their masthead out (especially the Orientation Issue one) and make sure that they include a disclaimer. As a Registered Student Organization, they have to abide by this rule.

*Wtf is Connect Ithaca? Here it is straight from the snake oil salesman’s mouth, since their Web site is currently down:

 * Connect Ithaca* aims to facilitate a partnership among municipalities, campuses, and local neighborhoods to create high-quality vibrant and pedestrian friendly urban villages served by multi-modal transport systems that eliminate many of the negative effects of car-based, fossil-fuel dependent, sprawl development.

Admittedly, I have very little more than Internet research to go off, but * I call bullshit.* This isn’t the first time PRT has been touted as a transit panacea — former Minneapolis City Councilman Dean Zimmerman, a Green Party member like Roberts, hyped up PRT during his days in the political fray. He’s now serving a 30-month for receiving bribes from a developer who wanted help rezoning — the conviction apparently has nothing to do with PRT, but it bespeaks Zimmerman’s shady character. Locals ought to take lessons from history and at least watch out for Roberts.