cornellWATCH

If you haven’t already, go check out “My Night with Jenna B.” It’s written by this dude who totally banged Jenna B and apparently she totally pulled the downward-head-push on HIM and she totally was only a 5.75 outta 10 in the BJ department….

But we want to know: who is the author, the so-called “Cunnilingus Cowboy”? The Sun provides these little hints at the bottom of the story:

The ‘Cunnilingus Cowboy’ is a senior. The Sun granted him pseudonymity to protect his identity, but has verified, to the best of its ability, the facts of the article. The article is printed with Jenna B.’s permission.

Pseudonymity? Fuck that shit. We faithful readers want answers.

After the break: a poorly thought out theories of mine as to who this disrespec’in’ cowboy is.

(more…)

I came up with this idea all of one minute ago, but here goes: Props & Drops rewards various Cornell-related agents with either Props (you go, girlfriend!) or Drops (ich don’t think so…) based on a complex calculation of parameters (fame, ridiculousness, sexiness) that looks something like this:

fame equation

PROPS: to the Daily Sun’s Jenna B. and Julie Block, for writing a cleavtastic piece that “plunges into the implications of our boob fixation.” After seeing a girl whose “chest was ostensibly on its milky way to exposing a bit of her caramel-colored niblets,” the fearless femme fatales show some cleavage themselves in order to gauge the reactions. They also explore the Western world’s obsession with boobage as well as its social and political “showings.” Classic, gals–I’m a big fan.

DROPS: This week’s “The Bias Cut” with Martin Ambrose. A couple preliminary notes: first, we don’t get your column’s name and we never will; second, looking like a transgender MTF is not fashionable; lastly, we think the Sun’s copyeditor hates your column so much they won’t touch it. I have to admit—this week’s column is not terribly bad content-wise. Martina discusses swimsuits in preparation for Spring Break, recommending decent brands no one has ever heard of (Ralph Lauren, J. Crew, etc.) and providing the unheard-of advice not to wear Speedos like “your sixty something year old dad who passes out by the pool with the New York Times in hand.” What really annoys me about his column isn’t its insufferable banality but its awful lack of a copyeditor… some “gems” follow:

“Let’s start with the men out there. You’re job isn’t so bad.”

“And no, a speedo isn’t a bathing suit unless you’re an athlete whose sport requires it, European and over forty, or you’re name is Arnold and you’re a politician in California.”

No, no, no! I think this is an apropos time for a “And you go to Cornell?”

Below the fold: an unsolicited opinion on the wonders of Jenna B… »