CornellWatch

Once before, CornellWatch has potentially offended differently-abled people in order to accurately insult a college gossip site. Well, folks, tonight we are stooping to that level again: the fallen JuicyCampus.com now redirects to a new college gossip site entitled CollegeACB.com, which is legimately even more retarded than both Juicy and PoshSociety. ACB stands for Anonymous Confession Board, which sounds like a place where a Yalie would go to ask for penance after they broke into the dining hall to steal milkshakes when they were high. In any case, CollegeACB is trying to take a similar “positive” angle on college gossip as PoshSociety, as per their terms of use:

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Breaking: JuicyCampus.com is shutting down tonight at midnight! Because — as stated in a press release by founder Matt Ivester — “exponential growth outpaced our ability to muster the resources needed to survive this economic downturn.” Mr. Ivester was surprisingly real in the release, and his closing statement actually kinda touched me. Enough to include it in a block quote!

On behalf of everyone here at JuicyCampus, I would like to thank all of our users for reading, contributing to, and telling your friends about the site.  And I’d like to thank everyone who has engaged in meaningful discussion about online privacy and internet censorship.  JuicyCampus has raised issues that have passionate advocates on both sides, and I hope that dialogue will continue.  While there are parts of JuicyCampus that none of us will miss – the mean-spirited posts and personal attacks – it has also been a place for the fun, lighthearted gossip of college life.  I hope that is how it is remembered.

After the jump, a couple of friends and I eulogize our fallen cyber-flibbertigibbet in an elegy. And the press release in full and Shutdown FAQ from the JuicyCampus Blog itself.

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If you hadn’t heard about JuicyCampus.com before now, then I am glad to supply the gossip sewer with a few more chortling rats. If you have, chances are you have also heard the insistent cries for its prohibition.

Among them is current S.A. president C. J. Slicklen ’09, who was quoted in the hyperlinked article as saying, “If we don’t get on there it will die.” Ironic that the supplier of such a news byte is in fact the most “on there” of any Cornell student, being the titular topic of the “Most Discussed” post (45 as of now) on our personal Juicy satellite.

The body of the post reads:

“HAS THE BIGGEST PENIS I´VE EVER SEEN!!! and he gives AMAZING oral. i´m not even fucking kidding, this guy is unbelievable…

i had to let the cat out of the bag.”

A riotous discussion ensued, with such gems as “IM GONNA CALL BULLSIHT,,TRIED TO HAVE 3SOME W HIM BEFORE HE FREAKED OUT AND LEFT ROOM…….PUSSY” and “one time at CTB i saw [former S.A. president] Elan crawling on his hands and knees with a ball gag and a dog mask…and CJ was holding the leash!!”

With nearly 5,000 views, it is less surprising that two of the replies mentioned that they overheard coeds actually gossiping out loud in Libe and in Trillium about this specific post, which makes me conclude: all the JuicyCampus-is-evil rhetoric of the S.A. and Class Councils will only further popularize the site: Juicy wants any and all publicity, good or bad.

What’ll happen in the coming months? Vince Hartman, President of the Class of 2008, told me that he believes JuicyCampus may cause slandered students to commit suicide. It’s a stretch, but maybe—and if it does, the law will probably act. Unfortunately, it will probably take a gossipee’s plummet to gorge bottom to stop the sensationalist site, but until then… gossip on, impending trainwreck!