CornellWatch

Can’t read the sign? Wondering whose people’s deaths the pink flag remembers? A close-up after the jump.

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So, this might just get national attention and I can still pre-empt the Daily Sun, so here’s something my friend Chris Donohoe send to me. Chris is a really nice guy, and — sorry dude — we’ve pretty much known he was gay since freshman year. In any case, he is a gay man of faith  and that’s something that the religious group he was involved with couldn’t learn to tolerate:

Tomorrow (Thursday, April 23) an article will run in the Cornell Daily Sun.  It will showcase the following information.

At the beginning of this academic year I (Chris Donohoe) was asked to step down from my leadership position with a religious organization (Chi Alpha Christian Fellowship) on campus after coming out of the closet.  Although the university is taking aggressive action to address this injustice, it is time for the LGBT community and its allies to unite.

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There’s quite a lot to do this weekend, that is, if your cash-strapped ass isn’t hurting too much from the recesh. Here’s CornellWatch’s picks:

Friday, Feb 27th

Big Red Relief Concert. 7:30pm, Bailey Hall.

Come see performances from some of CU’s crowd-pleasingest groups, including Bhangra (Indian dance-y fun stuff),  Cayuga’s Waiters (crooners of “We Didn’t Go to Harvard”), and Absolute Zero (gravity-defying break-dancers). Tickets $9 at baileytickets.com. All benefits go to Action Against Hunger, a nonprofit dedicated to alleviating global starvation and poverty.

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Apples and Peels Un-Cause Cancer: New CU research says it! Believe!

“Sick prank”: So saith an Ithaca Fire Lt. of a mannequin found facedown in the gorge. I say it’s kind of funny, in a horrible way?

Doctors Are Paid More than Presidents: “At Cornell, Dr. Zev Rosenwaks of the Center for Reproductive Medicine and Infertility received $3,149,376…” D-Skortz only made around $700k.

Cornell Dots Will Cure Cancer!: What exactly are these “C dots”? “The cluster of dye molecules in a single dot fluoresces under near-infrared light much more brightly than single dye molecules, and the fluorescence will identify malignant cells, showing a surgeon exactly what needs to be cut out and helping ensure that all malignant cells are found.”

Nominate Ur Fwendz: Do u no some1 who iz rly gud at there like orgunizashun? Nom’ them 4 a Student Organization Award or Recognition (SOAR! Far above!). Due Thurz.

“Budget Bondage”: Has the recession been cutting into your plan to one-up Goatse by utilizing expensive state-of-the-art anus-expanding instruments? Then this event is perfect for YOU.

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Cookbooks Make You Fat: Says Brian Wansink, the professor who loves sending his press releases to the media. Also, foods like these make you fat.

Collegetown Council Proposal: Solid summary and analysis by the Ithacator.

Review blog discovers gay people kiss: And that they believe in this totally crazy idea that heterosexuality is normative. Crazy gays!

A Purposeful Ellipsis’d NYTimes Quotes: “Two decades ago a 23-year-old Cornell University graduate student brought the Internet to its knees…”

Cotton Candy Cure: It just might help labs grow tissue yay!

A New Low for Sun Blogs: “Allow me to preface this entry by letting the reader know that I am abroad in Scotland for the semester. Without that information, you may find yourself terribly lost. I have stepped outside of the culture I know all too well and revel in all too often, and have embarked on a journey to the birthplace of the bagpipe.”

HOT OFF THE PRESSES: The Daily Sun made a landmark move today in deciding to print the columns of two writers known to be flamingly gay on the same exact page. It is unclear whether the publication itself was a heartwarming act of tolerance toward God-forsaken faggots or if the faggots in question, by some mischevious act such as they are wont to engage in, highjacked the electronic and mechanical methods by which the Sun normally engages in printing its newspaper thing. In any case, John-David Brown discussed his sinful acts of sodomy at length in his column, a column that was a narcissistic, self-indulgent litany of ” ‘interesting’ tidbits about [himself].” The one I speak of is number 13, a number known to be in violation of God’s Code because of the pagan belief that it is bad luck: “I have a premature ejactulation problem when I’m on Adderal or trying to be on top. Did you know that about me? I think not.” Did you know that I didn’t want to know that? I think so. And Peter Fritch’s column was equally, if not more, blasphemous:

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